Young Marriage

Erin Ford
Staff Reporter

Imagine having the perfect life: a husband or wife who understands you, wonderful kids, and the perfect job. Now, imagine that while being at age seventeen or eighteen. Students at RHS are actually getting married or engaged before they even graduate high school. Now, these students probably aren’t going to have kids before they really settle down, but the thought of getting engaged before graduating can be pretty ridiculous for anyone.
Some couples in high school really believe that they genuinely love each other the way a couple that has been married for twenty years does. For most teenagers, using their boyfriend or girlfriend’s names in the same sentence as the word “married” is not an option.
For Senior Justin Thibodeau, getting engaged at a young age is a good idea. “I was going to propose to her anyway, so proposing at a young age just sounded like a good idea. It is going to be the legal way for us to be in the same household at the age we are at right now,” said Thibodeau.
Thibodeau and his fiancé, Angee Perez, a former Gateway junior, met through ROTC. “Like most girls, she hated me. It was not until we had known each other for a while (we were in the same flight) that she saw me for who I am, not some jerk that would break a girl’s heart. She realized that I’m a guy who can care about her and her feelings. I wanted to show her that I can love her as much as she would love me,” said Thibodeau. “I can honestly say that I can see myself married to her in fifteen years, or maybe even longer.”
Assistant Principal Ron Fay had a few things to say about the idea of teenagers getting married in high school. “I feel that students are too young to get married,” Fay said. “Throwing a serious relationship in with school, a job, paying bills, and home life would make their lives extremely difficult. High school provides a safe environment to students, not a realistic view of life. What students experience on-campus is nothing like they would experience in the real world.”
Thibodeau will most likely be leaving for Air Force Basic Training this summer. He feels that their relationship can only get stronger with his leaving. “I feel that the trust we have for each other will grow from here. This is preparing us for the future, because I will not always be home for her. It will help both of us get used to my being deployed or on a business trip, or if the situation requires it, leaving for multiple months.”
Perez has just recently moved to Westminster, making life difficult for both of them. They only see each other on weekends, at most, and sometimes go weeks without seeing each other, but they haven’t missed a night without talking. “We make it through this together, and I hate not being able to see him. But when the situation appeared, we knew we would both have to make sacrifices,” Perez said.
“I feel that the trust we have – living together or not – is strong enough that we know neither of us will cheat and that our love could only grow from here. I can tell by the way she looks and talks to me that she’s mine and I’m hers forever.” Thibodeau knows that they’re both young, but he’s willing to take a chance. “We’re not planning on getting married immediately. We’re going to wait until I finish basic and she finishes high school. We know we aren’t ready yet, but we want to know how much we love each other, and this seems like the perfect way to show it.”
It is obvious that people who wait longer in life to get married have better chances of staying together longer, but most students don’t take this into consideration: Most marriages are most successful when they occur after college, because an education has already been established. Students wouldn’t have to worry about going away for school, because they have already completed the college necessary to hold a steady career. More than 60 percent of high school marriages fail within five years for reasons within their own marriages. 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. It’s a proven fact: young couples are at the highest risk for marital problems and divorce. They are also more likely to develop financial problems after not completing their education and therefore not being able to hold a job.
Unfortunately for the two, neither of their parents know about the engagement and they don’t want them to find out just yet. A word of advice – tell them, or call off the engagement until you know for sure whether you are going to be together after a year or two of college.
“I think that before the age of 25, a person’s brain and decision making capabilities aren’t fully developed, therefore a teenager can’t make such a major life decision,” said US History teacher Ms. Leary.
Mr. Sandt also had something to say about it. “Having a kid is the worst idea in the world, and getting married is the second worst idea.” Both of the teachers strongly recommend marriage counseling if students are planning on getting married at a young age.
Grades should be a huge deal to students. Their grades should also come before any type of relationship. “I don’t think there’s any correlation between grades and relationships. If the students are motivated enough to graduate, their grades shouldn’t be a problem.”
They both know what can happen and what can change, but they are willing to take a risk. Getting married is a huge responsibility – and for students, isn’t the best idea, especially if they’re planning on attending college. Wait until you know your parents would approve of it. Don’t just rush into things. It can end badly for even the strongest couples.